Do men consider commitment important in a relationship?

To answer the crucial question involving a man’s commitment to you, the response will depend entirely on your expectations. In other words, you play a role in determining the answer to this question. How important of a role do you play?

Your role is actually significant. Regardless if he’s emotionally mature or immature, you lay the groundwork for how a man can and will treat you. What does this mean? If you’re unconcerned about having someone’s romantic commitment and you make this vocally clear, you have a greater probability of attracting partners with a similar mindset.

Therefore, these potential partners will treat you in a noncommittal fashion. However, what happens if you view commitment as a priority? What happens in a situation where you make your expectations clear, involving the important role of someone’s romantic commitment?

In this scenario, you’re likely to attract and maintain the long-term interest of suitors with a similar mindset. What does all this mean? The extent of his commitment will depend on your communication, and whether you clearly convey your expectations from the onset.

If you convey your feelings on the commitment that you expect from a man, he’s far more likely to adhere to the standard behaviour presented. The key in this sentence is clear communication. If you require his commitment, but you refuse to make your expectations clear, this man is far more likely to set the blueprint going forward. Usually, it’s not in your best interest to allow someone else, to dictate how you should be treated.

Is his commitment to you and your connection important? Well, it depends. If you make it important, it will be important to him. If you don’t make commitment a priority to him, he’s less likely to view commitment as a requirement. If something is essential to you and you convey its importance, a man is far more likely to understand its significance.

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Miss Colombia forgives Steve Harvey [video]

One of the worst moments of Steve Harvey’s life has been rectified by Miss Colombia’s forgiveness. What has turned Steve Harvey’s life upside down, over the past few weeks, has finally been put to rest. Death threats, people parking outside his home and all the not-so-funny and funny memes can now cease.

Miss Colombia and Steve Harvey embraced in a consoling hug as both have endured tremendous inner turmoil since the “miss-announcement” of who was to be Miss Universe. Both Ariadna and Steve shed tears of relief and even laughed at their own expense. Miss Colombia broke her silence with forgiveness. If Steve Harvey can man up, own his mistake and make great effort to correct himself; then Miss Colombia show up on Harvey’s show and forgives the man that created a moment in time that could never be erased, why would we continue to drag Steve Harvey through unnecessary issues?

Sensere commemorates MLK Day with new Gospel Soul music “Harmony”

Miami-based ensemble Sensere recognizes a pivotal time in African American lives past and present. In retrospect, Martin Luther King peacefully fought for many liberties that are relevant to everyday existence. What has transpired over the recent past few years could be considered a “slap in the face”. The lives of those who have been violently snatched away because of police brutality are hanging in the balance because of injustices.

As we commemorate Martin Luther King’s Day, let us not forget the struggles endured, sacrifices made and advancements taken by those whose shoulders we stand on today. Remember that we all share in the responsibility in keeping his dream alive everyday, whether our contribution is great or small.

Download Sensere’s new single “Harmony” free on SoundCloud today. Follow them on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

Listen to a snippet below.

What does a Man want from you in the long-Term?

The first thing that may come to mind for a number of individuals is sexual gratification. If you removed the last four words in the title, you’d be correct. Studies show that males on average think about sex, more often than their female counterparts.

However, my question has a key component that seems foreign in the way, which females misunderstand the emotional dynamic of the average male. You’ll only focus on the first portion of the question, but overlook the question in its entirety. In other words, if you think sex is what he wants from you in the long-term, you’re already setting yourself up for failure.

In my previous post touching on the importance of his emotional maturity in the relationship, time and reflection will teach him that there’s an entire world awaiting him, behind his sexual desires.

When a guy hasn’t yet discovered himself through the journey of his emotional evolution, sex is what he finds most important about you. In my opinion, some may even view sex as the only thing that you have of value.

However, through self-reflection, he learns that sex is only part of your relationship dynamic. Sex is what he wants and can have for the night, but what he truly wants in the long-term goes far beyond the bedroom.

There are countless things that come to mind, but I’ll briefly touch on two. First, he wants your companionship. Yes, you might be his girlfriend or wife, but you must be his friend first and always. In my opinion, his girlfriend or wife is his best friend.

Secondly, he wants your support. In my experience, some women and girls don’t understand the important role that they play, when it involves supporting their partner’s goals and objectives. When you believe in him, you add another layer in his life where he can believe that anything is possible.

What does he want from you in the long-term? Sex is important, but he can receive that on any given night from anyone. What does a man truly want? He wants you. The sooner you begin to understand this, the healthier your interaction with him becomes.

When the President cries: State of the Union

The President’s watery eyes are insight into the souls of American people. The Nation is crying. Violence has ravaged inner-city streets and cracked the foundation of families dismantling the very fiber of American homes. Elitism, regardless of what some may say, has played a huge factor in the sanctioning of tighter gun control. The feud between Republicans and Democrats has invaded President Obama’s tenure. Gridlocked, President Obama exerts executive power. The state of the Union is crisis mode.

One of Obama’s initial Presidential promises was to tighten the sanctions on obtaining guns. The increase in gun related deaths, whether mass shootings, homicides or accidental  child deaths, have risen to a boiling point. Sandy Hook elementary school was one of the worst mass shootings to date.

How to destroy the People-Pleaser within

Do you find yourself stressed and lacking because you gave your all to others? And do you find yourself complaining about it later? Well guess what? Spreading yourself thin is not good for your health and it is not granting you supernatural keys into Heaven. It is a stronghold that you keep allowing in your life and you are the only one to blame, not the ones who constantly asks for help. Let’s be honest, usually People-Pleasers are chronic reward seekers. They are constantly looking for that pat on the back and “job well done” from mere humans. Why? Some find gratification in their squeaky clean reputations while others contribute for religious gratitude.

Well, it’s time to cut that People-Pleasing-spirit loose. It’s not gaining you anything but pain and lack. Most of the time women who are People-Pleasers tend to put their children before their husbands, jobs before their family, friends before themselves. The order is all wrong and God is nowhere in that. But mentally the People-Pleaser thinks they are doing right in God’s eyes. Let me let you in on a little secret. God comes first and everything else follows. If you are married with children your order is as follows: God, husband, children. I know some of you are saying, “where do I come in?” You are taking care of you when you are spending time with God. With Him you are receiving completion.

When we get closer to God, He reveals more of who we are created to be. I find it fulfilling to sit in a quiet space and talk with Him about everything. God is my best friend. He knows everything about me and no one gives better advice. When I wake up in the morning He is the first one I acknowledge. Some people have too many excuses of why they don’t spend time with God. Those are usually the ones stressed out and always trapped in chaos. I’m at my best when I spend the most time with Him. I am more organized, I have better relationships, my business prospers, I am more physically fit, and I feel better about myself. When I steal time from God and give it to others the outcome is never good. Even if that outcome is a slight headache or missed sleep, it’s not good.

Then here comes Jack and Mary, they want to borrow $100, again. Sue wants you to pick her up from work and take her home. And let’s not forget the energy stealers, those who are constantly in the middle of drama and need you to get them back on track. These are the people who never help you or brag about helping you. These are called toxic relationships and I encourage you to clean house immediately. People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Pray for them and keep it moving. I will leave you with this, when you keep God first you will attract better relationships.

Prayer:

Father, we thank you for your unconditional love and your convicting spirit that alerts us when we are not pleasing in your sight. Show us how to be better in every area of our lives. We want people to see you in us and hear you in us so we decrease ourselves for your glory and your love. Thank you Father that you Reign in our lives and we worship you and not man. In Jesus Name Amen!

What were some of your People-Pleasing experiences? How did you overcome the spirit of being a People-Pleaser? Share with us.

 

 

Moving forward: Past lessons learned open up new possibilities

IMG_4906It is a new year and many people are making New Year’s resolutions to lose weight, start that new career or business, let go of a bad relationship, etc. While making these resolutions maybe done with genuine intentions to execute, some woefully fall by the wayside. Moving forward on your dreams or making changes for the better takes guts. This is why your focus must be set as if you have on blinders. Even though this is a new year, do not forget the lessons you have learned in previous ones.

One lesson I had to learn the hard way took me by surprise, but I’ll never forget a statement my Dad made. He said, “Perhaps, it’s for the best.” At the time, I was perplexed at this simple, but profound statement. What did he mean? I was emotionally blindsided by a situation and I needed some comforting words.

In retrospect, those words were a source of comfort. They were words that were like that proverbial slap in the face when someone is hysterical and you are trying to bring them back to reality. I learned that despite how the situation ended, it was for the best. It had ended just the way it needed to. Of course, I could say that it should not have ended like that and I know I made every provision for it to turn out in a better way, but God knew. He knew that if he would not have allowed the situation to progress to where it was and end as abruptly as it did that I would be still nursing that situation. So, it was for the best.

In order for me to move forward and become the person I am today, I had to let that situation go or suffer more unnecessary issues. I was freed from myself. I learned that I have some characteristics that are genuine and good, but some people only see them as a way to take advantage. The saying, “God takes care of children and fools” depicted my state at that time.

God was definitely looking out for me. Now, I am more cautious, maybe too cautious. I am grateful that I am now at a place that I can see when a situation like that one is coming a mile away. I do know that some times things have to change and that I can be okay with the results. Do not get me wrong, there is still a struggle at times, but I am better.

Regardless of past situations or distractions, you now have a clean slate with 2016. Take it from my Dad, “Perhaps, it’s for the best” that that situation ended as such. You are now free to pursue greater opportunities that will enhance your life and not hold you back. You are now in a better state of mind to focus on what matters. Learn your lessons and keep moving forward.