One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that it’s so important to do what is best for me.

In life, we have to make so many decisions – some easy and some hard. Until we master the ability to distinguish between what we want from what others want for us, we can never make our best decisions. We live in a world that is full of demands. There are demands placed on us from our jobs, homes, schools and church families. However, I believe our greatest demands come from ourselves and the false ideas of who we should be and what we should be doing or what we should have accomplished by now, etc. There’s always that standard, person or certain reality we measure ourselves by that, for some reason, seems more important then the person we actually are. We get tricked into disbelieving our own worth and often, without thinking about it, fail to be true to ourselves.

I’d like to encourage each of us to take several moments (we might need several weeks) to ask ourselves if we’re being honest about who we are, what we want, and how much we are willing to give in every instance of our lives. Are we at peace with our response to the demands and requests of others? Are we at peace with our career choices? Or financial decisions? Is there anything we are doing or participating in that we would not do or participate in if it wasn’t for that someone we feel would judge us differently if we had our own way?

I spent many years and many moments in relationships and conversations saying yes when I wanted to say no; signing up when I had rather not; or staying silent when I needed to speak up for myself. The reward for this was my own unhappiness and my being overwhelmed and unfulfilled. I have found so much freedom in changing and learning to do me – to search within myself to find out what it was I wanted and then going for it.

The good news is that for many of our day-to-day decisions and actions (as well as relationship choices) we are free to choose. We are not prisoners. We have the ability to decide what it is we want, what it is we will tolerate and what it is we will not. We don’t have to be robots. We are able and capable of exercising free will. We just have to decide to do so.

Now I know that there are many times in life when we have to do things we don’t want to do. I’m not speaking against being responsible, mature adults. I’m speaking to the unnecessary, to the overwhelming, to the above and beyond type of requests we try to fulfill. I’m speaking to the lack of peace and the increase of stress that is caused because we don’t say, “No” or “Let me get back to you” or even “Please wait“.

Making the above changes will not be easy. There’s going to be days you will feel silly, as if you’re asking for too much. There will be moments when you will be tempted to go back to going along to get along. But I promise you that if you stick with the process you will find a sense of power. You will find peace in intentional living that will surpass any uncomfortability. This is an ongoing process. We will always have something to learn when attempting to balance our lives. Please understand this. You are embarking upon a lifestyle change that brings about a greater sense of being and produces results more in line with your purpose. You’ve got this! Best wishes to each of you. And as I often say because I mean it… I’m rooting for you!

Hope Always ,

Missy