Shall we dance?

He approaches me with a grin that is very common on men who are on the prowl. I make a quick decision to entertain him or dismiss the assumed immature pick up line that is soon to follow. It truly amazes me how men in today’s society are completely lacking tact and romance. No brain power or kind efforts are even delivered in most initial approaches. Have women really single-handedly created these monsters?

Some women are lonely and tend to settle for anything men throw their way. Back in the day, women wore their dignity proudly. Today, women are more concerned with “fleeking” out their makeup and weaving it up to gain the most “likes” and whistles. To be honest it appears these women can care less from where the attention comes, just as long as it comes. So they dance and entertain random fools because they are bored or lonely.

There is nothing wrong with being lonely. I myself get lonely at times and find myself entertaining men that are not deserving of my time or energy. The danger in this is cultivating this in your daily life. Dancing with a fool for too long will lead you down a road of disaster and unhappiness. Dancing with a fool may also distract you from accepting a dance from a prince.

We are not doomed if we find ourselves dancing along side the wrong partner. Just don’t stay on the same beat. Quickly change partners even if that partner is yourself. It is ok to be alone. In this time you are exposed to the different layers of yourself. You become more in tune to who you are and what you need versus what you want. Earlier I stated it is ok if you have entertained fools, because there is a lesson to be learned from it. That lesson is usually created to teach you not to settle and introduce you to your worth. Be wise and flow with the process, don’t fight it and get off beat. The best dance is often one that is most emotional and uniquely performed.

So back to this grinning cat who approached me. He walks over to me and asks me to move over. I was blocking his view. The nerve of him!

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How to destroy the People-Pleaser within

Do you find yourself stressed and lacking because you gave your all to others? And do you find yourself complaining about it later? Well guess what? Spreading yourself thin is not good for your health and it is not granting you supernatural keys into Heaven. It is a stronghold that you keep allowing in your life and you are the only one to blame, not the ones who constantly asks for help. Let’s be honest, usually People-Pleasers are chronic reward seekers. They are constantly looking for that pat on the back and “job well done” from mere humans. Why? Some find gratification in their squeaky clean reputations while others contribute for religious gratitude.

Well, it’s time to cut that People-Pleasing-spirit loose. It’s not gaining you anything but pain and lack. Most of the time women who are People-Pleasers tend to put their children before their husbands, jobs before their family, friends before themselves. The order is all wrong and God is nowhere in that. But mentally the People-Pleaser thinks they are doing right in God’s eyes. Let me let you in on a little secret. God comes first and everything else follows. If you are married with children your order is as follows: God, husband, children. I know some of you are saying, “where do I come in?” You are taking care of you when you are spending time with God. With Him you are receiving completion.

When we get closer to God, He reveals more of who we are created to be. I find it fulfilling to sit in a quiet space and talk with Him about everything. God is my best friend. He knows everything about me and no one gives better advice. When I wake up in the morning He is the first one I acknowledge. Some people have too many excuses of why they don’t spend time with God. Those are usually the ones stressed out and always trapped in chaos. I’m at my best when I spend the most time with Him. I am more organized, I have better relationships, my business prospers, I am more physically fit, and I feel better about myself. When I steal time from God and give it to others the outcome is never good. Even if that outcome is a slight headache or missed sleep, it’s not good.

Then here comes Jack and Mary, they want to borrow $100, again. Sue wants you to pick her up from work and take her home. And let’s not forget the energy stealers, those who are constantly in the middle of drama and need you to get them back on track. These are the people who never help you or brag about helping you. These are called toxic relationships and I encourage you to clean house immediately. People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Pray for them and keep it moving. I will leave you with this, when you keep God first you will attract better relationships.

Prayer:

Father, we thank you for your unconditional love and your convicting spirit that alerts us when we are not pleasing in your sight. Show us how to be better in every area of our lives. We want people to see you in us and hear you in us so we decrease ourselves for your glory and your love. Thank you Father that you Reign in our lives and we worship you and not man. In Jesus Name Amen!

What were some of your People-Pleasing experiences? How did you overcome the spirit of being a People-Pleaser? Share with us.

 

 

Moving forward: Past lessons learned open up new possibilities

IMG_4906It is a new year and many people are making New Year’s resolutions to lose weight, start that new career or business, let go of a bad relationship, etc. While making these resolutions maybe done with genuine intentions to execute, some woefully fall by the wayside. Moving forward on your dreams or making changes for the better takes guts. This is why your focus must be set as if you have on blinders. Even though this is a new year, do not forget the lessons you have learned in previous ones.

One lesson I had to learn the hard way took me by surprise, but I’ll never forget a statement my Dad made. He said, “Perhaps, it’s for the best.” At the time, I was perplexed at this simple, but profound statement. What did he mean? I was emotionally blindsided by a situation and I needed some comforting words.

In retrospect, those words were a source of comfort. They were words that were like that proverbial slap in the face when someone is hysterical and you are trying to bring them back to reality. I learned that despite how the situation ended, it was for the best. It had ended just the way it needed to. Of course, I could say that it should not have ended like that and I know I made every provision for it to turn out in a better way, but God knew. He knew that if he would not have allowed the situation to progress to where it was and end as abruptly as it did that I would be still nursing that situation. So, it was for the best.

In order for me to move forward and become the person I am today, I had to let that situation go or suffer more unnecessary issues. I was freed from myself. I learned that I have some characteristics that are genuine and good, but some people only see them as a way to take advantage. The saying, “God takes care of children and fools” depicted my state at that time.

God was definitely looking out for me. Now, I am more cautious, maybe too cautious. I am grateful that I am now at a place that I can see when a situation like that one is coming a mile away. I do know that some times things have to change and that I can be okay with the results. Do not get me wrong, there is still a struggle at times, but I am better.

Regardless of past situations or distractions, you now have a clean slate with 2016. Take it from my Dad, “Perhaps, it’s for the best” that that situation ended as such. You are now free to pursue greater opportunities that will enhance your life and not hold you back. You are now in a better state of mind to focus on what matters. Learn your lessons and keep moving forward.

Give from your heart

 

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I often wonder how people, more specifically “religious” people, say that Christ is Lord (Ruler) of their lives, however when he tells them to give or do for their fellow brother/sister they find all types of excuses or act as if they didn’t hear what he said to them. In the body of Christ, there is no lack. God designed his church to be self-sufficient. If one has, we all have. No one should go without.

Our willingness to give and be of service to our fellow brother speaks to our love of Christ. If Jesus could give his life for us, why do we feel it’s optional for us to do so, especially for our fellow brother in Christ? We are to show special love to those in Christ. We do this because the love of God dwells in our hearts, not because we want accolades for doing what we’ve been commanded to do in the first place.

“As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.” (Galatians‬ ‭6‬:‭10‬ KJV)

This time of year, people get into the “giving” spirit. I’ll say this, if your “giving” isn’t done in the spirit of love then you can keep your “giving”.

Know this…

“And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.” (1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭3, 13‬ KJV)

Photo credit: LeJuene Thompson (Instagram: LeJueneThompson_MadameButtrfly)

Don’t give up!

As I titled this post, I chuckled. It is funny to verbalize some things that you have already known, but to finally say it makes you laugh. Sometimes to speak those things out loud brings clarity or finality.

Living inside my head, I’ve probably had several lifetimes. Seriously, the wisdom gained from experiences and just sitting back watching others, I’m grateful to have had these opportunities. Don’t get me wrong, they have not all been good experiences, however they were lessons. The saying goes something like, “There’s nothing like bought sense”. I do say, I wished I had bought some sense at times.

I reflect on the song, melodiously sung by the late Whitney Houston, “I Didn’t Know My Own Strength”. There were times I didn’t know that I would come through certain situations, but God was my helper. This is why, looking back, I’m grateful. I know it wasn’t my strength. I would have crumbled under the pressure.

As I’m writing this post, sitting in my favorite spot in Starbucks and drinking on one of my favorite drinks, I say to those of you reading this to not give up. Hold on to that little thread of hope seemingly slipping through your fingers. Know that what may appear to be the end is just the beginning. You can’t give up. You have to see what’s right around the corner. It’s much better than where you are now. You have to believe this. Without faith in God, however small it might have been at times, I held on despite what I saw and felt. If it still seems that that’s not enough, I need you to find something, whether present or past, that was a source of happiness, peace, calm or joy to fix your mind on. Think on it when times are hard and there is no one around to lean on.

Be encouraged. It gets better.