You have the power

For me, surviving has been an ongoing process that involves choice, honesty, hope and a support system. With every step of being a survivor, I accrue more strength and determination. I’d like to remind you that we have so much power and influence over the type of life we live. Continue reading “You have the power”

Sometimes you have to fall back

In life we have to make so many decisions – some easy and some hard – but until we master the ability to distinguish between what we want from what others want from/for us we can never make our BEST decisions. We live in a world that is full of demands. There are demands placed on us from our jobs, homes, schools and church families, but I believe our greatest demands come from ourselves and the false ideas of who we should be and what we should be doing or what we should have accomplished by now, etc. There’s always that standard, person or certain reality we measure ourselves by that for some reason seems more important then the person we actually are. We get tricked into disbelieving our own worth and often, without thinking about it, belittle ourselves. Continue reading “Sometimes you have to fall back”


When I started my journey of hope and healing, I knew I was in for a ride. It’s been bumpy yet invigorating. There is always another level of growth, healing and discovery. When my pain became my purpose and my mess my ministry, things really got real! The pressure to retreat has been great; but I push forward despite setbacks, disappointment and fear. Continue reading “Reflections”

But It’s Not the Way I Imagined It!

Letting go of our expectations is hard. Detaching ourselves from mental and emotional fantasies is rough. Coming to terms with the reality that what you were so sure would be will not be is more than a notion.  Working to understand that what we hoped for may not be what’s best for us presents us with unbelievable adjustments. However, our career paths, relationship statuses, financial outlook and physical states are very seldom what we planned.

Continue reading “But It’s Not the Way I Imagined It!”

What does a Man want from you in the long-Term?

The first thing that may come to mind for a number of individuals is sexual gratification. If you removed the last four words in the title, you’d be correct. Studies show that males on average think about sex, more often than their female counterparts.

However, my question has a key component that seems foreign in the way, which females misunderstand the emotional dynamic of the average male. You’ll only focus on the first portion of the question, but overlook the question in its entirety. In other words, if you think sex is what he wants from you in the long-term, you’re already setting yourself up for failure.

In my previous post touching on the importance of his emotional maturity in the relationship, time and reflection will teach him that there’s an entire world awaiting him, behind his sexual desires.

When a guy hasn’t yet discovered himself through the journey of his emotional evolution, sex is what he finds most important about you. In my opinion, some may even view sex as the only thing that you have of value.

However, through self-reflection, he learns that sex is only part of your relationship dynamic. Sex is what he wants and can have for the night, but what he truly wants in the long-term goes far beyond the bedroom.

There are countless things that come to mind, but I’ll briefly touch on two. First, he wants your companionship. Yes, you might be his girlfriend or wife, but you must be his friend first and always. In my opinion, his girlfriend or wife is his best friend.

Secondly, he wants your support. In my experience, some women and girls don’t understand the important role that they play, when it involves supporting their partner’s goals and objectives. When you believe in him, you add another layer in his life where he can believe that anything is possible.

What does he want from you in the long-term? Sex is important, but he can receive that on any given night from anyone. What does a man truly want? He wants you. The sooner you begin to understand this, the healthier your interaction with him becomes.