An Open Letter to Love

Dear Love,

I’m not sure how long this letter will be. There’s so much I want to say yet so little. The straightforward version would be, “Dear Love, I need you. I want you.

It’s only right, however, that I give you more details. Truthfully, I already have you; it’s just that I need and want you in another way, on another level. I want your romantic version. I want the part of you that’s passionate. I want your butterflies. I want the love that will make me perfect in his eyes. The love that, no matter how much my external being changes, will cause my lover to always see me as beautiful. Love that makes them honor, adore and care for me.  Continue reading “An Open Letter to Love”

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What Is Love, Anyway?!

“While some long for an introduction, others take its acquaintance lightly. Love desires to be known and be recognized. However, just as it will never hide, it will never demand our attention. Love waits patiently for an opportunity to enter our lives and shine its light.”

-Melissa E. Hall

Love isn’t designed to be complicated. It isn’t a maze. Either it exists or it doesn’t. Love is kind, gentle, lifts up, celebrates goodness, gives, listens to,  corrects, offers hope, is patient, never hides but seeks to show itself. Love isn’t pretty words; it’s action that will never cause or allow intentional abuse. Love won’t selfishly take, always asking for more and giving little to nothing in return. It won’t leave you empty, but rather, it fills. Continue reading “What Is Love, Anyway?!”

Relationships 100

I want to talk about relationships. Yes, that subject. Everybody is talking, asking questions and giving advise. I want to do something similar but I want to speak to your heart. Will you let me? There are some things I feel compelled to tell you.

Relationships matter. They get a little complicated and complex but they are important. Whether they be a romantic, familial or friend-based relationship, they serve an important purpose in our lives. It’s crucial that they’re healthy ones. I have had my share of healthy and unhealthy relationships. I have allowed them too little, and at times, too much importance in my life. I have been blessed and I have been abused by those relationships. I’ve made good choices and I’ve made bad choices. All in all, I have learned how to be a better person. I have also learned to require more from other people.

What are your relationship dynamics like? Do you add to others’ quality of life? Are your relationships based on neediness and what you can get from one another or love, mutual concern and respect? Relationships are tools to help us build, they are not catch-all closets that we dump junk and excess into. Relationships, although challenging sometimes, are designed to make life more fulfilling. A healthy relationship allows opportunity for elevation – not degradation.

How do you know if a relationship is healthy or not? Personally, I like to focus on its effect on my life, on my psyche, on my confidence and its effect on who I am as a person overall. If a relationship is making me uncomfortable, unhappy or makes me feel less of a person then it is not healthy and it is not for me. If the relationship threatens or smothers my individuality then it’s an unhealthy one. If I have to question who I am, it’s a wrap! Consider this: If you cry more than you laugh, there’s a problem. If you fight more than you enjoy their company, then it’s time to walk away. I think you get it. Allow your heart and logic to work together – they will tell you the truth. They will tell you if your life has become more or less than.

Never trade happiness and peace of mind for a relationship, emotional or sexual stimulation, and temporary pacifiers. You are worth more than meaningless relations. You deserve friendship, support, love, loyalty, respect and a sense of family. Never forget it. Take time to evaluate your life and your relationships. You won’t be disappointed.

I’m rooting for you and hoping you’ll root for me, too.

Missy

Shall we dance?

He approaches me with a grin that is very common on men who are on the prowl. I make a quick decision to entertain him or dismiss the assumed immature pick up line that is soon to follow. It truly amazes me how men in today’s society are completely lacking tact and romance. No brain power or kind efforts are even delivered in most initial approaches. Have women really single-handedly created these monsters?

Some women are lonely and tend to settle for anything men throw their way. Back in the day, women wore their dignity proudly. Today, women are more concerned with “fleeking” out their makeup and weaving it up to gain the most “likes” and whistles. To be honest it appears these women can care less from where the attention comes, just as long as it comes. So they dance and entertain random fools because they are bored or lonely.

There is nothing wrong with being lonely. I myself get lonely at times and find myself entertaining men that are not deserving of my time or energy. The danger in this is cultivating this in your daily life. Dancing with a fool for too long will lead you down a road of disaster and unhappiness. Dancing with a fool may also distract you from accepting a dance from a prince.

We are not doomed if we find ourselves dancing along side the wrong partner. Just don’t stay on the same beat. Quickly change partners even if that partner is yourself. It is ok to be alone. In this time you are exposed to the different layers of yourself. You become more in tune to who you are and what you need versus what you want. Earlier I stated it is ok if you have entertained fools, because there is a lesson to be learned from it. That lesson is usually created to teach you not to settle and introduce you to your worth. Be wise and flow with the process, don’t fight it and get off beat. The best dance is often one that is most emotional and uniquely performed.

So back to this grinning cat who approached me. He walks over to me and asks me to move over. I was blocking his view. The nerve of him!

Why Should His Maturity Matter in Your Relationship?

For some reason this morning, I had a consistent idea on my mind. How does emotional maturity influence a gentleman’s perspective on relationships? Continue reading “Why Should His Maturity Matter in Your Relationship?”

“Kanye, I’ll let you finish, but”

I am honored to be the new Fashion Advisor for MYReporter. Given this opportunity to voice my fashionistic judgement is what every fashionista looks forward to. Granted I believe each person is allotted their own level of fashion sense and no one has the right to tell them if it is right or wrong. But considering the world we live in that is not the case so much. And to be honest, I too pass not so favorable judgement on one’s garb here and there.

I try my best to be fair and see the artistic approach in every detail but some fashion visionists such as Kanye West makes me want to dig deeper in the, “what in the world inspired that?” Well after all fashion is a choice, right? It’s not too often when I see this guy fashionably appealing. He was quoted defending his fashion line saying, “Sweatshirts are important”. Yes, indeed they are Kanye but so are shoe strings but do we prance them down the runway of avant garde? No. As a Designer who grew up with the dream to become a Fashion Designer I find it extremely insulting when a Rapper without the training, the massive student loans, the sewing ability, the countless sweat and tears and an authentic vision produce a fashion show and get center rack in top department stores just because they can pay their way to the top. Instead of using fashion as another revenue stream I would love to see artists such as West show some level of respect for our craft and promote unknown Designers looking for their BIG break.

As a Fashion Contributor, I owe it to my fellow fashion leaders to promote those who are without a voice at this time. We already know the Donna Karens, the Ralph Laurens, and the likes of Kanye Wests. So, there is no need to be another contributor speaking on rerun topics. So, if you are interested in learning more about fashion behind the scenes and meeting Designers who have not yet made it to main stream, you are on the right page. Stay tune!

Dr. Drai’s ‘Medical T’ tickled the ears of Chicago

To say the least, many faces of the attendees of Dr. Drai‘s “Medical T” Live Tour in Chicago turned various shades of red. In only a manner in which Dr. Drai can display, he served up some very strong tea. His “GYNIEGirls” “Gents” and “Preggos”, whom he affectionately nicknamed, sat on the edge of their seats in anticipation. At the Nouveau Tavern & Grill on Sept. 25, Dr. Drai schooled the crowd with intimate details.

Continue reading “Dr. Drai’s ‘Medical T’ tickled the ears of Chicago”