At 20 years old, I was making preparations to be a wife. At 23, I was single, again. Life hadn’t gone as planned. My heart was broken; I was mentally fragmented and emotionally more damaged than ever. Broken, bitter and confused, I sealed my heart. Men became the enemy and love was a concept that I couldn’t accept for my life. This wasn’t my first time being romantically disappointed but I was convinced it’d be my last. Continue reading “3 Ways to Identifying the Process: Life Does Not End Here”
When I started my journey of hope and healing, I knew I was in for a ride. It’s been bumpy yet invigorating. There is always another level of growth, healing and discovery. When my pain became my purpose and my mess my ministry, things really got real! The pressure to retreat has been great; but I push forward despite setbacks, disappointment and fear. Continue reading “Reflections”
How to destroy the People-Pleaser within
Do you find yourself stressed and lacking because you gave your all to others? And do you find yourself complaining about it later? Well guess what? Spreading yourself thin is not good for your health and it is not granting you supernatural keys into Heaven. It is a stronghold that you keep allowing in your life and you are the only one to blame, not the ones who constantly asks for help. Let’s be honest, usually People-Pleasers are chronic reward seekers. They are constantly looking for that pat on the back and “job well done” from mere humans. Why? Some find gratification in their squeaky clean reputations while others contribute for religious gratitude.
Well, it’s time to cut that People-Pleasing-spirit loose. It’s not gaining you anything but pain and lack. Most of the time women who are People-Pleasers tend to put their children before their husbands, jobs before their family, friends before themselves. The order is all wrong and God is nowhere in that. But mentally the People-Pleaser thinks they are doing right in God’s eyes. Let me let you in on a little secret. God comes first and everything else follows. If you are married with children your order is as follows: God, husband, children. I know some of you are saying, “where do I come in?” You are taking care of you when you are spending time with God. With Him you are receiving completion.
When we get closer to God, He reveals more of who we are created to be. I find it fulfilling to sit in a quiet space and talk with Him about everything. God is my best friend. He knows everything about me and no one gives better advice. When I wake up in the morning He is the first one I acknowledge. Some people have too many excuses of why they don’t spend time with God. Those are usually the ones stressed out and always trapped in chaos. I’m at my best when I spend the most time with Him. I am more organized, I have better relationships, my business prospers, I am more physically fit, and I feel better about myself. When I steal time from God and give it to others the outcome is never good. Even if that outcome is a slight headache or missed sleep, it’s not good.
Then here comes Jack and Mary, they want to borrow $100, again. Sue wants you to pick her up from work and take her home. And let’s not forget the energy stealers, those who are constantly in the middle of drama and need you to get them back on track. These are the people who never help you or brag about helping you. These are called toxic relationships and I encourage you to clean house immediately. People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Pray for them and keep it moving. I will leave you with this, when you keep God first you will attract better relationships.
Father, we thank you for your unconditional love and your convicting spirit that alerts us when we are not pleasing in your sight. Show us how to be better in every area of our lives. We want people to see you in us and hear you in us so we decrease ourselves for your glory and your love. Thank you Father that you Reign in our lives and we worship you and not man. In Jesus Name Amen!
What were some of your People-Pleasing experiences? How did you overcome the spirit of being a People-Pleaser? Share with us.