In life we have to make so many decisions – some easy and some hard – but until we master the ability to distinguish between what we want from what others want from/for us we can never make our BEST decisions. We live in a world that is full of demands. There are demands placed on us from our jobs, homes, schools and church families, but I believe our greatest demands come from ourselves and the false ideas of who we should be and what we should be doing or what we should have accomplished by now, etc. There’s always that standard, person or certain reality we measure ourselves by that for some reason seems more important then the person we actually are. We get tricked into disbelieving our own worth and often, without thinking about it, belittle ourselves. Continue reading “Sometimes you have to fall back”
As I look back on my life and my peers, I’ve realized that a guy’s emotional perspective for romantic relationships follow three main paths. On the first road, he may choose to be a pushover or someone’s doormat.
In this scenario, he removes all remnants of his identity, as a way to appease a love interest. He feels this is what people want in the dating pool, so he figuratively removes his spine and politely places it inside your purse. In my experience, I haven’t encountered a woman or girl who actually finds this perspective appealing.
On the second road, you have what many call a dog. This individual is the opposite of a pushover because with him, he’s entirely out for his own benefit. He’s uninterested in your likes and dislikes because in his mind, everything appears insignificant to his wellbeing. He’s the kind of guy you wouldn’t wish upon your worst enemy.
We then get to the third route. In my opinion, this is one of the most difficult aspects within the human experience. This is where the guy is able to find a balance of sorts, when it involves his relationship perspective. It requires a heightened degree of maturation. After all, it’s a daily process that’ll remain throughout his entire lifetime.
In my opinion, life is about finding a balance. It took me a long time to make this realization. Some guys want to be a dog or a pushover, and that’s their prerogative. I hope they’ll evolve of course, but this is the way of the world. Some people will remain set in their ways regardless of the repercussions surrounding their actions.
It’s easy to fall on opposite ends of any spectrum, but the key and difficulty will arrive upon embracing one’s balance. I’ve been around enough guys to pinpoint the culprit, where a guy will swing to one side of this relationship spectrum, as opposed to figuring out the possibility of a balance.
In my opinion, it comes down to a lack of positive male mentors. We can debate this until the cows come home. However, when a boy learns and takes on the destructive ideas of a male that he wants to emulate, it usually becomes part of his consciousness.
It’s quite difficult to erase this conditioning, but it isn’t impossible. From the onset of the relationship, please be vigilant in understanding which of the three main paths he has decided to follow.
When you prepare a meal for someone, or commemorate a special occasion over dinner at a restaurant, how are you able to determine if this person is enjoying the meal?
Perhaps it’s the way that his or her face lights up with each bite. Perhaps you listen to the positive sounds, which we’ll convey while experiencing something pleasurable.
You can also tell by how quickly the food disappears. Sometimes, it occurs simply with “this tastes incredible.” Sometimes, it’s direct. However, it may also appear through indirect signals. Depending on the guy and the nature of your relationship, his interest will occur in a similar fashion for you.
At times, it’s simply the way that he looks at you. In that moment, he wouldn’t even notice a spacecraft hovering from behind. He’s too wrapped up in your aura to notice. Other times, it’s his ability to find time to share with you, even when you know that he has a million other things on his plate.
It could be the way that he commits to his words. He won’t just say that he feels this way, or that he’s going to do this for you. He likes to validate his words with actions.
It could be his willingness to convey how he feels about you in public, without feeling concerned about what anyone else thinks about his vocal expression of admiration.
It may even occur when he introduces you as his girlfriend, to his friends and family without having any hesitation. It could occur through his sense of shyness, whenever you seem to enter his line of sight.
These are merely some of the ways to know if he’s into you. If you have to force yourself to believe that he is, or make up explanations for an imaginary admiration, the likelihood is that he isn’t into you.
Whether he’s emotionally mature or immature, there are many ways that a guy will show that he’s interested.
To answer the crucial question involving a man’s commitment to you, the response will depend entirely on your expectations. In other words, you play a role in determining the answer to this question. How important of a role do you play?
Your role is actually significant. Regardless if he’s emotionally mature or immature, you lay the groundwork for how a man can and will treat you. What does this mean? If you’re unconcerned about having someone’s romantic commitment and you make this vocally clear, you have a greater probability of attracting partners with a similar mindset.
Therefore, these potential partners will treat you in a noncommittal fashion. However, what happens if you view commitment as a priority? What happens in a situation where you make your expectations clear, involving the important role of someone’s romantic commitment?
In this scenario, you’re likely to attract and maintain the long-term interest of suitors with a similar mindset. What does all this mean? The extent of his commitment will depend on your communication, and whether you clearly convey your expectations from the onset.
If you convey your feelings on the commitment that you expect from a man, he’s far more likely to adhere to the standard behaviour presented. The key in this sentence is clear communication. If you require his commitment, but you refuse to make your expectations clear, this man is far more likely to set the blueprint going forward. Usually, it’s not in your best interest to allow someone else, to dictate how you should be treated.
Is his commitment to you and your connection important? Well, it depends. If you make it important, it will be important to him. If you don’t make commitment a priority to him, he’s less likely to view commitment as a requirement. If something is essential to you and you convey its importance, a man is far more likely to understand its significance.
For some reason this morning, I had a consistent idea on my mind. How does emotional maturity influence a gentleman’s perspective on relationships? Continue reading “Why Should His Maturity Matter in Your Relationship?”